Sunday, April 24, 2011

Thinking of you

Dear Caden,

Mommy is having a rough morning and I wish you were here to celebrate Easter with us. I layed on the couch thinking if you were here what you would look like in your new Easter outfit. Caden I miss you and love you more then I can say. As a mother you never think you are going to be the one to lose a child. When it does happen, geez does it hurt. I think often of the times we had together and the month you were in the hospital sick. You had your medicine so you were pretty happy. I cherish those times we had together. We walked hours and hours around the 2 nurses stations and they all thought you were so cute. I wish I had that time with you again. I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard. So many people tell me how strong I am and I just dont feel it. Last Sunday the ward choir got up to sing, "My Saviors Love" and I had to walk out because I knew I would start crying. I went to the bathroom and lost it. Since we have lost you I have been struggling with my testimony but I am working on it. I am trying to have faith.I am so grateful for my friends and family that I have that are willing to listen to me talk about you. I cant imagine not having them. Mommy loves you and help me to be strong. Love Mommy

1 comment:

  1. are amazing!!! The song that kept coming to me as I was reading this post was, " I feel my Saviors love". Go read it. Know that he does love you and knows exactly what you are going through. Testimonies are something that all of us struggle with at some point(s) in our lives. Just know that HE will never fail you and that I think you are one amazing mother. You don't think you are strong because you are humble. You get up everyday, even if you don't feel like it and you do the best you can. You are STRONG!!! Hugs:-)