Saturday, October 9, 2010

So many emotions

I find myself going to friends blogs and other peoples blogs that I dont even know to read there stories of there children passing away or there children that are sick. It has helped me to understand things a little more. It doesn't make things easier. Tonight as I was reading them I started to cry and thought I just need to stop reading right now. I find that I read them in the evenings after Carlee goes to bed and that is the worst time for me to read. I get very emotional. I am grateful I have these blogs to read and that I can try and give some peace to some of these moms and dads and they can do the same for me. There have been a few blogs where the moms have seemed so strong after losing there child and I ask myself, What is wrong with me? I just have to remind myself, one day maybe I will understand a little more of why this all happened. I am so glad I have this blog to write my feelings down. I just want Caden to know that every time I pray that I pray for him to be protected. I know he is, but I think it is just a mother that would do that. I love you buddy. Mommy


  1. To Me whenever I read your blog for Caden, I think of you as such a strong mommy. When I found out about Konner and having Cancer I automatically thought the worst. I never want to go back there again. It is the worst pain I felt and I didnt lose him. You are such a strong person, you may not think that now but in time you will look back and know how strong you were and are! I admire you and your strength!

  2. Hi. I found your blog while googling pics of Dr. Etzl, Annie, and Dr. Kaplan (all three of whom I just think the world of). My son was a patient of theirs back in 1994 - when @ 5 1/2 months he was diagnosed w/ a brain tumor after suffering all those months screaming and not sleeping at night and many failed attempts to the pediatrician.

    I am grateful I found your blog. I admire your strength. I remember our days of trial in the hospital very well, I remember our nurses, I remember the high highs and low lows.

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your little Caden is darling and you seem like an amazingly strong family.

    Thank you for your blog postings.